I remember walking to my shop one day contemplating my suffering, wondering why life had to be so hard and why I had to suffer and a voice inside me said, "you don't have to suffer. just stop." I believe it was the voice of God, not a thundering voice or something from outside myself. But it was that inner Knowing, an Epiphany in the smallest thought that I believe was the beginning of everything changing for my good.
Still, I had to unfetter myself from my business and I set about doing so with intention. I had and still have a passion for the industry I was in so it was hard to let go, but looking back I see how every move I made was in line with my intention to feel better. It took me two years but I'll never forget the feeling when I realized I was done, had no further obligation, and could walk away. Those two years were a very spiritual time for me. I meditated, prayed and read. I listened to podcasts from my favorite inspirational speakers. I joined a group that discussed the Law of Attraction and really understood how I came to be where I was in life. I went back to school for an online degree in Internet marketing. I wrote down my thoughts and feelings in this blog and in my journals. It felt good.
In the spring of 2010 I was having terrible muscle spasms in my neck and upper back that made it very difficult to sit and study at my laptop for any length of time. I thought maybe I would see an acupuncturist but I couldn't afford the office visit fee. I remembered a chiropractor some years earlier suggesting that I take a magnesium supplement - I'm not even sure how I recalled that - but one day, I went to the vitamin store on the corner near my house. Oddly, the acupuncturist worked there too, and I told her what I was looking for and she suggested a b-complex along with the magnesium. Well it did the trick. The pain in my neck and upper back went away quickly and I felt much better.
I continued to patronize the store and found the sales staff very helpful and knowledgeable. One day several months later my good friend was having a hard time and I suggested she try the same supplements that had helped me so much. We went to the store together and I showed her the products and she made an off handed comment to the store manager that they needed to hire me. Wow, I thought, I actually could work here. The job I had was going very badly and I was in need of a change. It would just be temporary until I finished my degree and could look for work in that field, but in the mean time it would be a low stress place, literally steps from my own front door. I asked the manager if they were hiring and he said no but that I could apply anyway and they would keep my application on file if anything came up. So I did just that. They called me for an interview about two weeks later!
Now I wasn't 100% sure that making this change was the right thing to do. I didn't like to walk away from a difficult situation without being sure that I had done everything I could to make it right. So I prayed on it, asking if I should stay where I was or go and I remember distinctly hearing that voice again. This time God said, "wherever you go, I'll go with you." Nothing more. And with that my decision was made to move on and put myself in a place where my education on health, wellness and feeling good could really begin.
That was about two and a half years ago. I feel better today than ever though it's an ongoing, step by step journey as my body has become older and less efficient at undoing all the damage of 40 years in our fast food society eating the SAD (standard American diet). I continually repeat the phrase "My people perish for lack of knowledge" in my head (Hosea 4:6) because the more I learn about human health and wellness, the more clear it is that people are dying needlessly. They know whats bad for them but they refuse to take a good hard look at what poor nutrition does and how easily the human body can course correct when given the proper tools.
So this blog hopefully will become a place for me to share the knowledge I'm learning, from my own perspective, that someone out there may relate to and be able to use it to begin their own journey to looking good and feeling good inside and out.
Be Well,
