Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Pseudo depression, Clarity and Inspiration

Failing to plan is planning to fail. That's the saying. Right? I spent the last 12 months learning how to plan an internet marketing campaign. It was a rigorous masters degree program taught by some of the industry's finest. And it was not cheap. And now several weeks past graduation I find myself in a state of partial depression, lacking direction and feeling passionless. Our emotions are always a signal to be paid attention to. A feeling of uneasiness and lackluster is a sign to me that I need to address an issue in my subconsciousness.
 I'm a "hit the ground running" kind of person. Always feeling like time will run out if I don't take action fast. But if I have learned anything from my "higher education" it is that in order to move forward with passion and conviction the path must be clear. Clarity comes from thinking and planning first.
I realized that even with all my knowledge I have not taken the time to get clear on where I go from here. My failure to move forward, to use all my strengths, is really a failure to sit down be still and think about what inspires me. It comes from that fear that if I'm not actively doing something I'm failing. Fear is such an irrational emotion. That is not to say that one shouldn't exercise caution in a given situation.  But the state of my life over the last year has taught me that it is a good thing to take life more slowly and deliberately.
I used to think I didn't have time for fitness and a healthy diet. Running my business consumed me. And in reality it ran me, not the other way around. I decided to step out on my faith and deep sense that my priorities were all wrong. And now I have time to be fit and eat right. I'm more educated than ever about what my body needs nutritionally and I feel better physically than I have in years. So it is with the same deep sense and faith that I am moving forward. Not aimlessly struggling to make money and feeling depressed when my efforts remain fruitless. But instead taking  clear and calculated steps, including daily meditation - thinking about my inspirations and being inspired to action.
Another thing I came to realize is that doing less is not directly proportional to having less. In fact it can be quite the opposite. I work a lot less now than I did running Just Hair. A LOT. But I don't have less. I actually have more. More time to spend with my child. More freedom and flexibility in my schedule. I was able to earn a masters degree in 12 months. And by God's grace I pay my bills even though I don't always know exactly where the money is going to come from.

My path forward:
Take time to THINK, meditate, pray, get centered - slow down!
Ask for inspiration and take inspired action
Remember my top priorities - being spiritually connected, being physically fit and healthy by caring for my body with the supply God has provided, caring for  my child and putting his emotional, physical and spiritual health on par with mine.

Some sources of inspiration for me:
Tim Ferris and the Four Hour Body - shows me that small changes can have huge impact
Wayne Dyer and The Power of Intention - have been inspired by his writings for years, but sometimes I forget and have to come back.
Tea and the art of Life Management - this video helped me to see and remember that there's a way to find balance and I'm not alone in seeking it.

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